You Matter: Making Time for Community
This is the first in a series of video posts and conversations around some of the themes in The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You
Without question, some of my fondest memories have been in the context of community.
In high school, student council provided an outlet for creativity and friendship.
In college, a leadership organization (pictured above) brought me some of my dearest friends and fondest memories.
As an adult, a Monday night book club brought me some of my first friends when I moved to Nashville, who were there for the birth of Elias and many other special times.
Every one of those experiences was special because of the people. We are not meant to live life alone, however, oftentimes it can be challenging for women to make time for community.
As I learned in talking with women for The Fringe Hours, many often prioritize other activities such as children’s school activities, work events, even staying home and cleaning over going out and having time with friends. Here’s what one woman said:
I feel guilty that I work all day do the last thing I want to do is go out with friends for me time, when I don’t spend the day with my kids.
This breaks my heart. We must make time for community – and we shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
When I was younger, community was easy because it was all-around me, thanks to school and limited responsibilities. I took it for granted. As an adult, I’ve learned community takes intentionality and is critical to my happiness and personal well-being.
I also think that as a mom, it is important for my children to see me making time for community. When they are adults, I pray that they have deep, meaningful friendships too.
I do a variety of things in pursuit of community. For instance, I try to schedule one “friend lunch” a week during my lunch break at work. Periodically, I have friends over to craft together. I also attend several blog conferences annually in order to get quality time with friends and cultivate new friendships. These things take planning and often mean saying no to something else, but they are always worth it.
This past week, I joined a moms group at my church. With being on maternity leave, this was a new opportunity for me. Watch this 2 minute video to hear about my experience and what I learned from it.
I hope you are encouraged by my story. If making time for community is hard for you, I get it. If you have the opportunity, but saying yes is hard, I get that too. But time and time again, I am reminded that it is always worth it.
I am worth it. You are worth it.
Do you make time for community? Why or why not?
For more encouragement and practical advice about the importance of making time for you and how to do it, pre-order my new book The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You
I agree that community is so important. Yet, when I am busy, it’s the first thing that I tend to give up. This is a good reminder to put in an effort.
Love this. I’m an extrovert and really thrive when meeting new people etc. I love groups like this even though, yes, it definitely can be a pain to get out of the house and find somewhere for the little people to be etc.
I can definitely relate to the first comment you share. I struggle with feeling guilty if I want to go spend time with friends rather than hanging out with the kids since I’ve been at work. It makes me feel like I’m being selfish or prioritizing my own needs over theirs. Not to mention, there are some people in my life who just love to jump on the chance to call me out of this kind of decision and use it as a further prof that I am not parenting the way I should be. Ugh.
I have to admit that I live in a community that embraces mom time. Every weekend there is a party to attend. Every Thursday, there is a restaurant invite running around for drinks. I recognize how special it is and I dive in with open arms!!
My community embraces mom time, too. I’ve just always been someone who doesn’t always participate and it’s something I’m hoping to change this year. I always have an excuse of being too busy or too much work or too much to do with the kids. My best friends are still some of the girls I grew up with and that time with them has become my treasured and cherished time. Dinner, drinks or coffee. We’re ALL moms now, so it’s wonderful. I’ve also reconnected with some college girlfriends and it’s been wonderful b/c we’re seeing each other in a different light now – as moms. But I know being with a community of moms helps me and makes me a better mom, too. xoxo
I love this so much. I am such an introvert but I do so enjoy the times when I get together with other moms and friends. Thank you for the encouragement!
I want to live in Vera’s community! LOL. But yes, I do try to make time for community although sometimes I tend to hibernate. I have a group of neighbors who pull me out and I am so thankful for them. I’ve been feeling pretty down lately, so recently I started reaching out and making plans with people. It has helped SO much already. Community is SO important.
You look BEAUTIFUL – as always. I loved this a lot. A head’s up, however. this one went directly to another video right after it – one about guilt. Did you know that would happen?? Maybe you’re wanting to release over time? Not a problem for me to see you/hear you again, but maybe that was not your intention.
This was just the push I was needing to start attending a woman’s prayer/bible study. Thank you for the reminder that making time for you isn’t just for time alone!
School is a big one for me- it triumphs over friend time a lot of weeks. Learning to balance that!