God Bless My Grandma: A Eulogy

This post contains the eulogy I wrote for my grandma’s funeral. It has become one of my most trafficked blog posts. If you are here because you have lost your grandma or another loved one, you have my deepest condolences. I hope this post helps you. I have listed a few additional resources at the bottom of this post. 

The past week has been a blur. My mom visited my grandma at her assisted living community on Monday and said that she didn’t seem herself and wasn’t feeling well. Wednesday morning I received a text message that they were taking her to the hospital. That night my dad called to say that they didn’t know if she was going to make it through the night. We Facetimed and I got to tell her that I loved her one more time. She was alert and told me how much she loved me and our family.

Just after midnight on Thursday, November 17, my grandma Ruth Schim, passed away.

She was my last living grandparent and incredibly dear to me. I am heartbroken that she is no longer here. I flew up to Wisconsin with Ezra on Sunday for the visitation that afternoon and funeral today. At the funeral, I gave a eulogy, which I wanted to share with you. As you read it, I hope you will be moved by the way my Grandma lived her life. She was a phenomenal woman.

My Grandma’s Eulogy

Good morning, I’m Jessica, Rick and Debbie’s eldest and Ruth’s first grandchild.

When I was very little – five years old, my sister Melissa and I were playing at Grandma’s house. I did something that got me in trouble – what it was I don’t know, since I hardly ever got in trouble. What I do know is that I did not like that Grandma scolded me, so when she went out to the garden for a minute, I locked her outside. I also locked the garage door so she couldn’t get in. She yelled for me to open the door and I yelled that she was wicked— clearly an influence from The Wizard of Oz.

That story makes me laugh because a) it is my only negative memory of grandma and b) clearly, Grandma was far from wicked. In fact, she was one of the loveliest women I have ever known.

Anyone who knew Grandma knew her love of cooking and baking. She was always happy in the kitchen. I have so many fond memories of family celebrations where the highlight was grandma’s desserts – schaum torte, banana cream pie, chocolate cherry cake and the list goes on and on.

Grandma kept two old tin coffee cans in her cabinet and they always contained homemade cookies. The cabinet was low to the ground, which made them very accessible for us grandkids. I remember a time or two of getting a cookie out and then asking if we could eat it. She loved seeing other people enjoy her food as much as she enjoyed making it. Her legacy of cooking and baking is one that will live on as her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren now enjoy the kitchen just as much as she did — though I don’t know if any of us can make butter horns as well as she did!

A natural extension of her love of cooking and baking was entertaining. Grandma knew how to throw a party – and decorate for any theme. Her basement rivaled any arts of crafts store, with dozens of boxes labeled with her perfect penmanship. She made the most beautiful table arrangements and thousands of people were blessed by them. Her husband Bill, my Papa, was there to help get them where they needed to go and build her anything she needed to go along with a theme. I remember being in awe of her pool table in the basement always set up with arrangements for the most recent event. They were all perfect and set in fruit boxes ready for transport. Grandma did everything 110% and it showed.

Grandma was also a lifelong volunteer and knew the importance of giving back to your community and helping those less fortunate than ourselves. She never gave with the expectation of being noticed. Helping others was a part of her DNA. It became even more important after Papa passed away. Every time I would call her, she would be going volunteer at Christ Child or another organization. As a child, I didn’t realize the power of this example on my life. But now, I know what an unusual gift that was, to give of your time so freely and often.

As incredible as all these gifts were, Grandma’s love for her husband and family were the core of who she was. She valued her calling of wife, mom, mother-in-law and grandmother above all others.

Though it has been more than 17 years since Papa passed away, he was the love of her life until the day she joined him in heaven. Their’s was the kind of love that movies are made of. Even as a young girl, I saw how special their relationship was. They were a team who served one another, yet made space for each other’s giftings.

 

While Grandma was not excited when my parents broke the news that they were expecting – she thought she was too young to be a grandma – she loved me and her other three grandchildren with endless affection.

She cleared shelves in her closet for crafts, puzzles and games for the kids, always made us root beer floats, cookies and orange jello with mandarin oranges in it and loved talking about what was going on in our lives. When I moved to Tennessee, she was always eager to hear about my work and my family.

I remember how excited she was when I shared I was expecting my first baby. Great-grandma was too hard to say, so she became known as Gigi to Elias and to her other four great-grandchildren – Adeline, Landon, Ezra and Bradley. Though they are young and may not remember much about her, I am so thankful that we have photos and stories of her to share with them.

This week I was deleting messages off my answering machine, when to my surprise, there was grandma. The message two years old and she was calling to thank me for some photos I had sent of my oldest children, her great-grandchildren Elias and Adeline. She called me a doll and was so appreciative and loving with her words. That simple phone message embodied so much of Grandma – her love of family, appreciation of thoughtfulness and her classy nature – she was always quick to show gratitude through a card or phone call.

As I listened to her voice one more time, I cried. I cried that she was no longer here and for the impact she had on my life. It is a grief shared by every person in this room, as well as those far beyond the walls. She touched countless lives through her love, service and hospitality. She was the kind of person we all hope to be.

Grandma’s 91 years on this earth were beautiful and full. We are so fortunate to have spent so many years together, and her legacy will live on for generations to come.

Funeral Resources

If you are planning a funeral, please read my post on how to create photo displays for a funeral. 

You might also want to make a photo book remembering your loved one. Check out these 5 tips for making a photo book fast. 

I also had the honor of writing the eulogy for my Nana’s funeral in 2011. You may read that here.

Books on Grief to Read After You Have Lost Someone

I found that grief is a complicated and books can provide much comfort during times of sorrow. I recommend the following books.

Grief books for Adults

Rare Bird 

More Beautiful than Before: How Suffering Transforms Us

Healing After Loss

Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved

Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief

For Children

The Invisible String

God Gave Us Heaven

The Memory Box

A Hug from Heaven