A Night of Preparation and Prayer
Saturday night I spent a few hours at Angie’s. For those of you who have not read one of my other posts about her, Angie is one of my closest friends in Nashville. Like me, she is pregnant (32 weeks), with a little girl named Audrey Caroline. Audrey has several health issues that make her “incompatible with life.” She is going to be born via c-section on Monday afternoon and is not expected to live.
Angie and I got together so I could help her prepare some things. I have a knack for being organized (with everything except my house, it seems), and so offered to make a couple lists of things I could do to help Ang and her family, both in the immediate days to come, as well as in the weeks ahead.
We made a list of things I should blog about on Bring the Rain during this next week. (As Angie wants readers to know what is happening during the week, but may not have the energy/strength to do so.) Details about the delivery, a memorial service, etc. These are things you don’t ever think about talking about with your best friend – especially not in the same breath, while you both feel the kicks of your unborn children.
We read through emails from just a handful of the kind individuals who have reached out.
We got distracted by their new puppy Sawyer and some of the maternity shoot proofs the Smith family had taken on Friday.
We talked about how there’s just so much you can plan because in the end, we don’t want to plan any of it, in hopes of a miracle. It’s almost as if I pre-write the blog post about where to send cards and where the memorial will be, that hope is lost. And it is not. We want God to do what he is capable of – heal Audrey. We want her to be born and be able to take in a breath, to wrap her tiny hand around her mommmy’s finger… Not only do we want that for the Smiths, but to be able to say look! God healed her., just as is done countless times in the bible.
It is 2 am. I woke up about 40 minutes ago, dreaming of Monday, Angie, Audrey… I also woke up in extreme pain in my lower back. I got up to move to the living room couch and Matthew warmed a heat pack for me. But, I am wide awake and felt compelled to write. I ask that you pray for Audrey and the Smiths. We know what the doctors have said, but refuse to give up hope. God may work a miracle in healing Audrey. But He may have other plans… but we will give Him glory either way.
I read through Philippians tonight, and the below passage (Phil 4:4-9) moved me. May we be in prayer and petition these next days, and overwhelmed by the peace of God.
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
You are a wonderful friend to your friend. Little Audrey is fearfully and wonderfully made, and I will certainly hold Angie and Audrey in my prayers.
Jessica:
My prayers are with you and your friend. I will be there in prayer with you on Monday.
God Bless – Paula
What a dear best friend you are. My prayers are with (and have been with) the Smith’s and Audrey. I have been keeping up with this for several weeks, and my heart just aches for this young mom and family.
The Lord Bless you for your kindness and thank you for the updates,
Dawn
I’m so sorry about your friend’s baby. :o(
Congrats on your pregnancy though.
Hey Jessica – just browsing blogs this afternoon and read your update on your visit with Angie [been following her blog too] – and I wanted to let you know that ‘m lifting YOU up in prayer too – may the Lord continue to use you to be there and say just the right things during these next few days [weeks.]It’s hard, I know [when we were first married our best friends lost their baby – the last time she felt him move was at her mother’s funeral…]and so many people don’t know what to say or do and so do nothing – so may God bless you as YOU’RE THERE. ANd may you feel HIS presence during these next days – Judy
Hey Jessica.. In reading Angie’s blog, I’ve actually started following yours, too..
and wow, I’m amazed at the strength in your friendship and the blessings and the treasures you 2 are to each other..
I can’t imagine how hard it is to be right there with her, but also, what an honor God has given to you, to be the one to be her encourager. You are both such strong women of God.
I’ve been thinking about Angie ever since her last post and praying non-stop, with a heavy heart, as Monday approaches.
Thank you for the update, Jessica. I’m praying for Angie, Audrey, and for you all.
With Christian love,
Catherine
I started reading your blog through Angies one day. You are a great friend to her and I know that she needs you now more then ever. These days will be hard on you, too. I will continue to lift you and your dear friend and her family up in prayer. I am grateful that you will be updating for Angie. She is an amazing woman and I know her story and faith in the Lord have touched so many woman. May God bless her little Audrey and hold her tight in His arms….
Jessica-
I’ve been debating whether or not to comment here for quite sometime now, as I’ve always felt a little wierd kind of secretly keeping up with what you’re up to, not having really been in touch for some years now, but it seems appropriate to write tonight. These words still seem so inadequate tonight as I think about what you’re facing… as a friend, a mother to be, and a Christ-follower. I just want to thank you for being an inspiration to me for the past probably 6 or so years (back to the days in Bradley!), likely without you even knowing it. Your faith, hope, friendship, example, and words are so inspiring and have worked on my heart many times. My walk with Christ, and the friend I try to be, have definitely been touched through your life. Thank you for that.
I pray that you (and the Smith family) find some rest, peace, and hope tonight, knowing that tomorrow a miracle will happen, no matter the outcome.
Thank you again.
Prayerfully,
Katrina
Jessica,
I just want you to know that you too are being prayed for. What a wonderful friend Angie has in you. I pray for added strenght for you, in the upcoming days.
I know you too will feel this loss,
Gods Blessing upon you,
Nichole
Hey Jessica,
I have read Angie’s blog for a while and she has so touched my heart. I didn’t realize you all were such good friends. I’ve been praying for them, but will definitely pray for you as her dear friend. Your job as friend was also be extremely difficult. Pete has met Angie several times and has always told me how much fun she is and that I would enjoy her imagine my surprise when I connected the blog Angie with the one he had told me about. I’ll check Angie’s blog for your updates.
I cannot remember how I came across Angie’s blog, but I have been praying for a few weeks now and I have no doubt that the Lord led me there for that specific purpose. My baby girl breathed her last in Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital last June, after just five days in our arms and, like Audrey, she has impacted many lives for Christ and left a permanent imprint on our lives. What you are doing for Angie today is no small thing. Know that you are a blessing to her, as she is entrusting the most sacred story of all to your telling. I am praying for you and your sweet baby today, as I storm Heaven’s gates on behalf of Audrey and her family. This will undoubtedly be the most sacred day this sweet family has ever known.
Praying for the Smith family. We lost a baby girl, Gracie Anne, 3 years ago. My son Joshua and I (he’s 2) prayed for their family this morning … as only a 2 year old can pray and we ended it praying that Aubrey and Gracie have a LOT of fun together in Heaven before we all get to join them!
We also had another boy in October … Eli Bennett! Named him after Rich Mullin’s song … Eli’s Song …
Much thanks for being such a great friend! God blessed me with a great friend like you during our loss and you just can’t ask for anything better!!
jessica, my prayers are with angie today, but i’m also adding you to my list.
i was 7 months pregnant with my son when my sister lost her son full term. it was not something that any of us saw coming.
the balance between grieving for your friend while not losing the joy of your own season can be difficult.
prayers that you and angie will grow even closer together and that your baby will bring healing to both of you.
many many prayers.
wendy
You probably already thought of this—but you should make a little flipbook or scrapbook of the short, sweet life of Audrey for the memorial service. You may not have the time to do it, but I’m sure it would bless Angie and the family.
There is a woman who lost her son to stillbirth on another blog I follow and someone made her a scrapbook of maternity pictures, cards, just little things about him, even though he was not born alive.
That mother was incredibly blessed by it and cherishes it. I encourage you to do the same!