Adeline’s New Crib and Crying it Out
It has been a month since we put Adeline in Elias’s room. He LOVES having her in there. He said that when we move, he doesn’t want his own room, he wants Adeline in his room.
SO sweet, huh?
For those of you with older kids, I know you are snickering… I can enjoy it while it lasts, right?
Our Delta Children’s Venetian crib that we received to review (and keep!) for Adeline is even more beautiful than I expected.
I love the white and can’t wait to have a whole room of girly white furniture for Adeline. I think the rounded lines of the wood are really lovely and feminine.
We also really appreciated how easy the crib was to assemble. It didn’t take long (which says a lot given that Matthew is not a very handy guy) and is very sturdy.
Another benefit to the Delta Children’s Venetian crib is that it is a crib that will grow with her. The mattress can be positioned at three different heights, and then the crib converts to a toddler bed, day bed and full bed. Elias’s crib didn’t convert beyond a day bed, so this additional conversion rocks!
Adeline likes to sit in her crib and watch her little Baby Einstein Neptune Soother
When it comes to bed time, typically, we put Adeline down first and then put Elias down. We have been using a sound machine app, which seems to help them both sleep.
Speaking of sleeping… Adeline is still waking up once or twice a night, but Elias never wakes up when she cries – probably because I fly in there like the Tasmanian Devil.
About two weeks ago, we tried letting her cry it out (and brought Elias in our bed), but the next day was the start of her RSV, so we haven’t tried that again. I’m wondering if we should when she is feeling better.
Did you ever do the cry it out method? Did it work? What are your thoughts? I’m desperate for her to sleep (and for me to sleep), but I hate letting her cry…
I’d love your thoughts and experiences!
I did the crying out method with my first daughter, when she was about 4-5 months old. (Used Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child book as a reference–it’s excellent.) I can still remember crying my eyes out in the shower as I listened to it the first time–but I will say this….it only took a day or two and then she slept just like the book said she would. That was four years ago…and to this day I have a 4 year old who still naps (and even asks to when she is feeling “pooped out”–her words!) Nighttime bedtime is a breeze, she never, ever has given us a problem going to bed or waking up at night. My advice is give it a whirl. It will be hard, you will feel sad, but I guarantee you, you will get some sleep. I recommend the extinction method–just go cold turkey and stick to it, and honestly it will take no time at all. (Versus the softer, go in every so often method, that I tried at first that–while it may have worked–I could clearly see was going to take 10x the amount of time.) Hope this helps!
We did with Kate, and I don’t remember it ever being too excruciating. If she had cried hysterically or for too long a time, I’m sure we would have gone in, but I think tolerating a bit of crying is essential for getting kids to sleep. We would go in to replace a dropped paci a couple times (so we did have to check in a little, not just ignore the crying completely), and that’s all it took. Kate was sleeping through the night, then, by 2-3 months, and my second daughter is the same (she’s 12 weeks now). Claire is a little needier (or maybe I’m just more of a softie this time!) so I do nurse and rock her to sleep more, and I’ll say her bedtimes are not near so smooth as Kate’s were!
I second the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. We were having issues with naps with our 7 month old, Finn, so we overhauled his whole sleep schedule using that book. Now, he sleeps through the night and takes two good naps in his crib! The first few days are hard, but the benefits are worth it!
My daughter is almost 3 and I wouldn’t say we used the cry it out method strictly but we did lean more towards that than trying to soothe her back to sleep ourselves. But what I find did help me and still helps me is to listen to her cry. Is it a frantic type of cry or is it just more of a whiney type. If it whiney then I tend to let her work it out on her own. If it’s frantic, I’ll step in because I know she won’t be able to calm down on her own. I know when she was Adeline’s age it would be 20 minutes of crying in her crib by herself before she’d settle down to sleep. It’s tough, definitely, and especially difficult I would imagine if you have other kids that you don’t want woken up!
My daughter is nine months old and until a few weeks ago would only be rocked to sleep (with me standing up. As soon as I sat in the rocking chair she would scream!). She was getting too heavy and my back was in so much pain, plus it was taking up large portions of the day just trying to get her to sleep. I never, ever thought I would use the cry-it-out method as like you I HATE hearing her cry. However I quite literally reached the end of my tether and just couldn’t rock her anymore. Through frustration, pain and exhaustion (all mine) she ended up crying herself to sleep one evening, it took 100 minutes and I just sat on my bed and sobbed the whole time. However, she DID go to sleep, and she slept soundly all night. The next night it took 70 minutes. Again, I found it very distressing and cried the whole time but she did go to sleep and we didn’t hear a peep from her all night. The third night it took 6 minutes. The fourth night, less than a minute – and this has continued. For several months she has ‘slept through’ but has always woken every couple of hours and cried (obviously waking us up) – I am now sure this is because she fell asleep in my arms and during her more wakeful sleep was disorientated and didn’t know where she was. Now she gets herself to sleep we do not hear a sound from her all night! Bliss! So, I have come from a similar place to yours Jessica, I never thought I would do it, but am now so thankful that I gave it a try. Everyone tells you the first few days are tough, and they really REALLY are, so just make sure you are ready for it (and certainly wait until she is fully better) if you decide to go for it.
I have personally never used the cry it out method. I have 2 and 4 year old girls. I always figure if they are getting up then thru need me so I’m there for them. My parenting responsibilities don’t stop just because it’s nighttime. It is exhausting but the trust I built with both of them in letting them know I’m always there helped them eventually sleep on their own. I hope you find what works for you. You are a great mom!
I don’t think any mother thinks her parenting responsibilities stop at nighttime.
I also do not think that your children will trust you less if you teach them how to put themselves to sleep…. self soothing is something they will have to do for a lifetime… not just now!
First I would like to say your children are absolutely beautiful. We did the cry it out method with both of my kids. We started between 3-4 months, just as the same book recommmended by other people in the comment section suggested. It is painful at first, but rarely takes more than 2-3 days. Both of my chlidren (ages 7 and 4) still sleep through the night, for 12 hours each. Naps were never a problem. I remember with my daughter I tried, albeit briefly, to do the “go in every few minutes and comfort” method and it only made her more mad each time I left. Also when she was a baby, I still nursed her at around 4am. I felt she could actually be hungry since she was asleep since 7 the previous evening. She would nurse then go back to sleep for about 3 more hours. This did not seem to interfere with the sleep training we were doing. I think the only downfall for us is that our kids do not seem very flexible with their sleeping. They very rarely sleep anywhere but in beds (no napping in the car or in the stroller when they were young enough). Good luck!
So first, let me say that I feel like we have parallel lives right now. Both Jessicas, kids close in age, living in a 2 bedroom condo waiting to move! Ava is 9 months and we’ve tried to let her cry a few times in the past few months. It always works and she hardly cries for long but she seems to revert back to waking 1-2x per night soon after. Her crib is in our room since I’ve been worried to move her in with her sister but I’m going to try to let her cry it out again this weekend and hopefully move her, I need sleep and our own space! I’m also a working mama an am totally relating to the need for a good night’s sleep.
I’m amazed I have been able to work at all for the past year and a half. lol. 🙂
Hi,
I’ve never commented, but LOVE LOVE LOVE your website and have followed it for maybe a year now? Thanks for all the tips on good deals, by the way!
Your children are beautiful! I have a 5 yr. old, 3 and a half year old, and 7 month old (born in June – close in age to Adeline.
I have mixed feelings about the cry it out method. I used it on and off with my first two, but always disliked it. I have not tried it yet with my 7 mo. old. He still wakes up twice at night to nurse. I think that if he is waking up to nurse, then he still needs to nurse. I feel your pain. I am desperate for sleep, too, but am trusting God to provide what I need to make it through my day. I would encourage you to do what you feel is best for Adeline’s needs and your needs and not feel guilty either way (cry it out or getting up with her).
Hope you can get the sleep you need very soon! 🙂
We used the CIO method with both of our children and it worked wonders with each. We did it after 6 months for each of ours. I couldn’t handle the crying without crying myself so my husband put me in our room with the door closed and headphones in to sleep and he slept on the couch and went in to soothe at the various time intervals. We started with 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc. until they fall asleep. Usually it only took going in a couple of times before they were out. It took a max of 2 days for each of ours before they were sleeping through the night and sanity returned to our house 🙂
I highly recommend “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.” We used that sleeping/eating philosophy with both our kids when they were babies {now 2 and 4} and they both slept through night by 3-4 months. They continue to be great sleepers. Putting them down awake so they could learn to fall asleep in their own beds was/is important to us. There was some crying it out for short periods, but our sleep routine was what they’d always known so it didn’t last long.
I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys. There is no way I could ever handle the cry it out method. ESPECIALLY with a baby under the age of 1. If they are crying it’s because they are sad and I just can’t handle sitting by listening to them be sad like that. All were raised without the cry it out method and I didn’t go crazy or stress out doing it. It just took patience. Many of my friends have asked me what my magic tricks were but I didn’t think I had any. I suppose if I really thought it about it all I could come up with is that it started when they were babies. They slept right next to me in my room. Half in their own crib (at arms reach) and half in my bed. The old they got the more they slept in their own bed, still at arms reach. I did this because the quicker I soothed them out of crying the easier it was on both of us and we both got more sleep. The quicker I could get to them the faster they calmed down. I too rocked them to sleep AT FIRST but eventually had them fall asleep on their own in my bed with me laying their quietly. ROUTINE is important as well. From there I transitioned them to their room by having then nap in their room. Once they fell asleep quietly on my bed, I would lay them in their crib to nap and when they woke up I would be there and play with them a bit in the crib with a new toy or something to get his attention and to get them used to being in their room. After a couple of weeks of this I started putting him in there at night BEFORE he was asleep. He fussed a bit but like Lori explained, there is difference between that whinny cry and that hysterical cry. I sat next to him with my hand in the crib so I could touch him and made sure he understood I wasn’t going anywhere and his whine didn’t ever escalate to a cry. He would stand up and sit down and stand up and walk around, but I just stayed quiet, and did not force him to lay down. The only thing I would say was “Time for night night”, pat his pillow and he eventually layed down on his own. I did that for about two weeks and once he understood I wasn’t going anywhere he started just laying down on his own and every night I moved farther and farther away from the crib. He would still pop up to check and see if i was there, and I was. When I finally felt he was ready I put him in there, said goodnight with all our routine all the same routines and walked out and he was fine. It took time but they never cried 🙂 Every mom is different, and you have to do what works best for YOU and your family. This worked for US.
My boys are 11, 8, and 13 months and all have slept through the night by 4 months of age. We still have the occasional waking up at night every now and then with our little one but they are all great sleepers
I did the crying it out with both my kids – with my daughter there was the added challenge that she might wake up her big brother. It took a little longer than I expected, and a lot of going back and forth to reassure her of our presence, but she did catch on after about a week and started sleeping through the night.
My kids also shared a room from early on until they were 8 and 7 years old respectively. They got along very well and still do. I remember praying so much that they would be friends, and they are! They have their tiffs now that they’re a bit bigger, but they still giggle together and do a lot more sharing and caring for each other than most siblings I know.
I sort of did the Ferber method with both of my girls, now 5 and 2. I don’t like to hear a baby cry, but as they were getting older and not waking up to feed, it seemed like the best thing for me and helping them develop healthy sleep habits. With both, after a few nights there was a HUGE improvement.
She is beautiful and I cant believe how big she already is. It feels like yesterday she was still in your tummy!! We used the CIO method. It was tough for about a week and now I have the best sleeper known to man. We did it when she was about 4 months old. The key for us was consistency. Naptime, bedtime, etc and Mommy and Daddy being strong. It was hard for the week but I am thankful we did it that way!
I hated every single second of our cry-it-out time with both of our kids. I felt like a rotten momma and I’m positive that if it weren’t for my DH reassuring me and encouraging me to tough it out, I would have caved in…and therefore would have truly terrible sleepers! I have an (almost) 5yr old and a 3yr old and they are both GREAT. SUPER. FABULOUS sleepers!!! It was not easy and I could never have done it without my hubby’s support. So, my advice is do it…but have your hubby on board with it as well…you’ll need to support each other through it. Good luck!
I know there are a lot of parents who have done the CIO method who say all is fine and no ill effects came from CIO, and I’m sure it’s true for a lot of them. I couldn’t do CIO, it was too difficult to hear my baby cry when every ounce of my being was screaming to comfort them. Especially at such a young age, a baby’s wants fall into the same category as needs. They need to be comforted, they need mommy to hold them and rock them to sleep. It creates trust to know you won’t just leave them alone, crying and scared. I have a very independent, good sleeping 4 year old that was never CIO. Same with my 21 month old boy. It takes a bit of extra time and patience, but I figured it won’t be that much more time, and it’s really such a short time that they are so small and cuddly anyway. It was worth it for me to not CIO.
I couldn’t agree more. Babies NEED to be comforted, they NEED to be held, and cuddled. I believe it does a lot in building their security and trust as they grow up.
Absolutely, positively, yes! Do try CIO! Our three children (6, 4 & 2) all share a room, and aside from infant feedings when they were babies, illness or distress/nightmares, we have let them all CIO. It might take a couple of days, but after a bit a routine will take shape. Our children sleep right through or simply ignore any crying. We very, very rarely–like almost never–have crying issues because all three of our kiddos sleep like logs 10-12 hours a night! 🙂
I did the cry it out method with both kids. It was probably more intentional with my first baby but he cried for about 20 minutes for two nights and then became an excellent sleeper. My second just kind of starting sleeping through the night on his own but he was 8-9 months old. With the 2nd I was always afraid that if he cried he would wake up my older boy but I have learned that it really doesn’t bother him. Sometimes I wish I could sleep like that. I talked with our doctor about it and he said that some babies will cry for a couple of hours and if you just fed them, they have a clean diaper, and no other issues that is was perfectly fine to let them cry. However, I am thankful that either boy has cried that long. Now when they wake up in the middle of the night I can assume something is not right. Whatever you choose to do will be okay even if you decide that it doesn’t work and try something else. I am very close with both my kiddos (with a third on the way!) so I don’t believe that crying it out has affected our relationship at all. 🙂 Hang in there and I hope it goes as smoothly as possible!
I let my son cry it out. It was completely effective. We did the whole rigmarole of going in after the first minute, then again after two minutes, and kept stretching the time until he finally fell asleep. It really only took one or two nights to work. He is the type of child who was crying because he didn’t want to be trapped in his crib and he didn’t want to go to sleep…very strong willed.
My daughter is a completely different story. She cries in bed because she doesn’t want us to leave, because she doesn’t want to be without us. And that just breaks my heart. I know this sounds corny, but she is just an emotionally attached baby. She always has been. She just turned one and I still rock her to sleep. Judge all you want but each child is an individual and I am doing the best I can! 🙂
What I can say is that there comes an age when they shouldn’t be waking through the night especially to eat. As a nursing mother that is hard because we are wired that when they cry we need to get up and feed them. We are not only trying to make sure that they aren’t hungry but also that our supply stays up. That I had to stop her from doing. There is a point when you are nursing and you realize they hardly ate at all and you are just being used as a pacifier. I didn’t let her cry it out. I would pick her up and comfort her but I did have to put a stop to the night time feedings, I think around seven months. After two nights of that she has never woken during the night for anything outside of sickness reasons.
I recommend the book “The No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley for a different perspective.
Y es!!! Read this book, then make an informed decion. also Dr. Sears baby book.
We did the cry it out with the first two and not the third. It was hard. The result I have two good sleepers (ages 7 and 5) who never fight bedtime and never have, since those first two or three nights when they were learning (sometime in that first year). (I suspect it was MUCH harder for me than for them.) And then I have Gracie who is a TERRIBLE sleeper. At 3 and a half we are still fighting sleep issues. She won’t nap or go to bed well. What’s working with her now is no nap and going to sleep listening to a story on CD. We didn’t do the cry it out because of the sharing room and frankly we were so much more laid back with the third. I regret it. That said… I know it doesn’t work for everyone and is in NO way the best way for everybody. Go with your gut. Every kid is different and the dramatic difference in our kids could be the method or something else entirely. Again… go with your mommy sense!
By the way, beautiful crib. White cribs for little girls are simply perfect.
The bottom of this article has a list of sources with more information if anyone is interested in reading further. http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/07/05/no-cry-it-out/#.TyA-Q4HNmn7
Hi!
I suggest you do whats best for you and your baby. For me, I only let me son cry for 5 mins and then I would go back in there. It took about 5 days before I didn’t have to come in their a lot. But, at the baby stage, looking back, all they need and want is to have Mommy close by. It wasn’t until my son was over a year that he was ok sleeping without me near by. 🙂 Five minutes is a good stretch of time to cry because that way babies learn to sleep through the night on their own. 🙂
First I would like to ask how the heck you got a free crib to review??? I’m pretty jealous over that. LOL. Second, when my now 12 year old decided at 9 months she did not want to go to sleep while being rocked and having her crawl all over me for 45 minutes I decided she could just go to her own bed . Yes she cried for almost an hour, but in the morning she was just fine and even though I felt like the worst mom possible, she doesn’t remember it at all. It has to be your choice though because it is difficult for YOU to listen to her cry. Good luck and I know you will make the best decision for your family!!!
PS. The much needed sleep was great for both of us!!!
What a really nice crib! and a beautiful girl to sleep in it. 🙂 I never used the crying it out method. I’m not sure if there is a name for my method. But it always felt wrong. and i see in a lot of comments from mothers who did use that they didn’t like it but we’ve been told by “doctors” and such that it’s the right way. sleep is a big deal so one day I was praying about it (my first was a horrible sleeper at first, he he) I felt like God was bringing to my mind all the MANY verses that say something along the lines of “crying out to Him and He will answer you). I personally feel like we represent God to our children and should try our best to respond the way He would. So I wasn’t sure what that meant and one day our Pastor out of nowhere asked us how sleeping was going with our first little boy! We told him terrible! and he told us of this method that his pastor taught him. You do your bedtime routine, lay them down and stay with them until they fall asleep, rubbing their back or possibly having to hold them down depending on how old they are. (eventually you don’t have to stay with them until they fall asleep, just at first until they get used to it) If they wake up in the middle of the night you go in and check their diaper and whatever may be going on and then repeat with laying them down and holding them down (gently, but firmly and only if they need it) until they go to sleep. My oldest is 7 and sleeps beautifully through the night. My second son I didn’t have to ever hold down because I just started out laying him down and staying with him. He is now 4 and sleeps through the night the same as his older brother. My youngest boy is 16 months. He still wakes up once – twice a night. but goes back to sleep easily. I guess my take is when I personally can’t sleep, God is always faithful to be there for me, so I should do the same for my children and that just feels right to me. After all it’s only for a little while that they wake up at night (feels like infinity while your in it, I know!) but then they sleep through the night and those moments are gone!
AMEN TO THIS QUOTE!!!!!!! “I guess my take is when I personally can’t sleep, God is always faithful to be there for me, so I should do the same for my children and that just feels right to me. After all it’s only for a little while that they wake up at night (feels like infinity while your in it, I know!) but then they sleep through the night and those moments are gone!”
From reading your posts I feel like we are living similar lives b/c my Eamon is just about 7 mos and ever since October has been getting up 2-3-4 X a night. Prior to that for a glorious 5 weeks he slept 7P-6A and I was amazed (b/c my older 2 never did that at 10 weeks). I actually thought “wow, maybe this will be my “excellent sleeper”. HA!
Anywho, so for the past 3 mos I have been fueled on 2-3 hours here and there and by now am used to it so I can function and as a working mom can function highly but boy would I like a 6 or even 5 hour stretch!
I’m nursing too and nurse him back b/c frankly, its just easier for me to go in, nurse and back to the crib vs. my husband go in and he cries for 10-15-20 mins while I’m UP ANYWAY, heart racing, and trying to go back to sleep which is impossible. Lazy on my part, maybe, but when sleep is scarce the last thing I want to do is be up longer. Eamon’s been sick as well, either ear infections or coughs so I’ve let it go on in a sense until now. He’s actually still sleeping in a car seat most of the time (in his crib) b/c of repeated coughs & when I put him in his crib he rolls to his belly but can’t get back on his back. So after a few hours, he cries b/c he can’t flip back over.
So my thought process has been – do I let him cry? Is he really hungry and is my supply dipping that I should try a bottle of formula before bed? Is it teeth and that is why he cries bloody murder?? Who knows but those are my ?s every night and all night.
I do think he is in pain b/c he’s gnawing everything in site (he has the bottom two teeth) but no amount of pain meds or tablets seem to help. He does nurse but usually not for very long every time. The first wake yes but after that its comfort.
I don’t know & I aplogize for the detour of this comment but I feel like writing down my thought process helps.
On CIO specifically, I was never a fan and never used it to a great extent with my girls. Although I have read and heard how “great” it works, it just wasn’t for us or our kids. And with Eamon I doubt it will work anyway b/c of his personality. And I do still think he’s so little yet to do that to him. That being said I think learning from his cries helps immensely – like he cries even when he is being rocked to sleep so if I hear that cry I know he’s just trying to get himself to sleep. Other cries like the “bloody murder” one I know he’s not going to stop until he exhausts himself red in the face tears down the cheeks hiccuping and I’m not comfortable letting him do that. So I go in and soothe him.
So there’s my 2cents – if I get it figured out and he starts to sleep better I’ll let you know. Until then “this too shall pass” right?
We went through a very similar thing…my kiddo slept gloriously at 7 weeks old! I was shocked. Then came the teething, and then came the runny nose and all the sudden he wanted to nurse every three hours!!! So I had no idea if he was actually hungry or just wanting ME.
So here is what worked for me when he was around 8 months old. I wore him out and fed him like crazy during the day. Then at night if he woke up I would offer him a formula bottle (he will only take these if he is extremely hungry). The first two nights he drank an ounce or two. It took about a week for him to decide it was not worth it to wake up for a formula bottle. Then he started sleeping eight hours straight again (10 months old now and still going strong). A couple nights here and there he wakes up and I do the exact same thing. I stay very consistent and never nurse during the night, he is only ever offered the bottle.
It has worked wonders for me and I highly recomend it!
I have a 9 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. When I tried to let my 1st DD cry instead of going in it was a disaster – including her vomiting. 🙁 So of course I stopped. Well, she would wake in the middle of the night at least once for YEARS!!! She often ended up in our bed and it was exhausting!!! I read lots of different books (unfortunately not Ferber’s) and nothing worked. So 7 years later – I was 7 years older & had less energy – I knew I needed to do something different this time around. I checked Dr Ferber’s book (Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems) out from the library & used his method (NOT called Cry it Out). I was shocked that after 2 or 3 days DD#2 was sleeping through the night!!! Naps were harder to get her to fall asleep on her own but after a week she was turning over before I even left the room and falling asleep! Using the Ferber method teaches your child how to fall sleep on their own. If I had known how life-changing and easy (compared to getting up for YEARS with DD#1) the Ferber method was I definitely would’ve done it with DD#1. I would HIGHLY recommend getting the Ferber book and reading the appropriate chapters for your situation. Good luck to you!
As you already know, every baby is different. When my 20 month old was nine months old, she began waking in the middle of the night wanting to play. By the third night of her waking (and staying awake), my husband and I decided to let her cry. She cried ten minutes, I went in and rocked her, and she cried another ten minutes before falling asleep. Since then we have had no problems with her sleeping at night (except teething, sick, etc). If she cries in the middle of the night now, there is always an underlying reason, so other than that one night, I’ve never had any reason to let her just cry. However, not all babies are like her. In my opinion, letting a baby (especially if they’re under the age of one) cry for more than half an hour is ridiculous. Maybe they just want to be rocked, or maybe they’re still hungry. But ultimately you’ll have to do what ever is best for you.
There’s nothing I can really add that hasn’t been said already, but I just wanted to leave a comment to give you warm fuzzies and to let you know you’re not alone in this one! Sleep is such a HUGE issue with kids, whether it’s concerning babies, toddlers, or big kids. My 4 month old is struggling to nap in his crib, though he sleeps fine at night w/o waking and my 2 year old still fights sleep tooth and nail nearly every single day! We’ve all dealt with it at some point in our parenting careers and although it’s obviously a controversial topic in regards to methodology, when it comes down to it, you just have to do what works for you and your babies. Hang in there, big hugs to you, and know you’re not alone in the fight for sleep!
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We didn’t CIO but we did do the Baby Whisperer method of going in about an hour before she would usually wake and disturbing her a bit so her sleep so that she gets out of the habit of waking up. BW also has a method of teaching them to put themselves to sleep that worked really well with her, but it was a bit taxing at the time.
HTH
I know CIO can be controversial, but it was a life-saver for us. And I’m not exaggerating. I needed to sleep in order to be a better mommy, and she needed to sleep in order to make it through the day! We did CIO cold turkey, which is what I recommend. I also recommend starting now, if you’re thinking of doing it. The older they are, the harder it is. For us, it took about 3 days, and she took to it beautifully. She cried at first, but not for longer than 15 minutes, and then she slept through the night, and we all got some glorious sleep! She is just over a year now, and sleeps 12-14 hours a night, plus two 2-3 hours naps each day. It’s wonderful.
The biggest benefit for me though, of using the CIO method is that I’m able to easily identify when something isn’t right. My kiddo sleeps through the night every night, so when she wakes at midnight or 2am, I KNOW something is wrong, be it teething or a fever or a tummyache, or whatever. Since her sleep habits are so routine, when something out of the ordinary happens, I can respond to it immediately without second-guessing myself. I know right away that something is wrong – she’s not just crying for no reason. I love this. I feel like it makes me an effective mom (not that others aren’t, this has just really helped ME).
If you’re going to do it, my suggestion would be to make yourself busy while she cries. Do not just stand outside her door crying along with her. Go do the dishes, fold some laundry, something active and with an end time that is relatively short. Then you can tell yourself “Ok, I’m just going to finish this, and then I’ll go get her.” You’ll feel better, and chances are, she’ll be done crying and peacefully asleep by the time you’re done. 🙂
Good luck! Whatever you decide, you’re a great mommy, and both Elias and Adeline are lucky to have you!!
Hi Jessica,
I’ve never done the cry it out method. I’ve had great success with both my children with the Baby Whisperer book. Both of my kids (now aged 3.5, and 11mos) have slept through the night since they were 3 mos, and 8 weeks. I’m actually a nanny as well and have used it with 3 other babies who were over 6 months old when sleep training. So in my opinion its tried and true. It can take some time to change sleep habits so you have to be patient but the methods really do work if you stay consistent : ) I hope you get a full nights sleep soon!
Hot topic!:). I am strongly against CIO for many reasons both personal and research based. You’ve gotten enough advice so I won’t go into all that other than to say, go with your gut. If you hate the idea of it, don’t do it. I tried it for 2 nights because I was caving to pressure from friends and 3 years later I still regret it because I did it for all the wrong reasons and totally went against my gut, my heart and my parenting philosophy of “For the rest of her life, I want her to know that I am coming running when she needs me.”
So that’s all I got – if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t for you:)
(And yes she wasn’t a great nighttime sleeper for years – I am a stay-at-home mom so I felt I could deal with that. I could sneak in a nap when she did and she and I could stay in bed in the morning if she was sleeping late – your life is very different from mine in that regard and that is obviously a huge factor! Still, go with your gut;)
I LOVE the No-Cry Sleep Solution! It is full of PRACTICAL advice!
By Elizabeth Pantley, btw.
I’m so NOT a “cry it out” mom (for more than about 10-20 minutes). If that’s even called crying it out? I can’t stand to hear my baby cry and know that he feels alone and in trouble, but it is important for them to be able to soothe themselves and get back to sleep. If I hear Joel through the night, I’ll listen for a few minutes, and if he stops, I go back to sleep. If he continues, I (or my husband) will go over, turn on his froggy, give him his monkey (that he can’t sleep without!) and he typically falls back to sleep. That said, if he hoops and hollers for more than 10 minutes, I’ll grab him and bring him to our room (this rarely happens & he usually falls back to sleep on his own or with his music). Different things work for different babies…every situation is different. Good luck 🙂
We have a 10 min. rule in our home (and out). These teeny tiny humans have a way at tugging at our heartstrings and it can make you nuts. Neither of our children ever slept in our room (due to the fact that I didn’t breastfeed). It would have been really easy to pick them up and bring them in with us when they cried, but I didn’t want to have a family bed and felt that for me if I started that I might not be able to stop it. So, we let the children cry for 10 minutes. Its the LONGEST 10 minutes of your life. I would set the timer, turn OFF the monitor and watch TV or something. Generally (with my son) it would be 9minutes and 32 seconds before he’d fall asleep. If after 10 minutes he was still crying we’d go in and soothe from above (not pick him up). We also used a lavender bath before bed every night and he began sleeping totally through the night at 7months when we started that. My daughter on the other hand was tougher, doesn’t like or require the amoutn of sleep my son does and still gets up once or twice a week in the middle of the night “to cuddle”. Anyway, remember, advice is fine, but you are their MOMMY and you know what is BEST!!! Even if you don’t know it yet. HUGS!
I just want to say how adorable my granddaughter looks in that crib…..just thought I would bust into the conversation and point that out ! xoxox
i have had 3 boys and never let them cry in there crib alone. They cry for a reason and as they got older they all went to bed on there own quite happy. i didn’t bring a child into this world just to let them cry on there own. They wanted to be soothed to sleep or they stayed with us until they fell asleep.
I slept with my oldest until he was 16 months old. I stopped nursing him at that point. It took three nights of me sitting with him and then he was sleeping through the night. He never cried it out. I think he was old enough to understand, but not too old to have gotten too used to sleeping with me.
I read at least seven different books about baby’s sleep – when my son was young – including the no cry sleep solution, baby whisper, and healthy sleep habits, happy child. My husband and I tried several different sleep solutions over several months. What worked for us was the guidance of healthy sleep habits, happy child. I continue to use that book as a reference – and my son is two years old. What I did was check most of the books out of the library, but I ended up buying the healthy sleep habits, happy child – because that approach fit our family best. Hope you get some more night sleep soon.
My husband and I did a little bit of crying it out with our kids – we tried to balance it with making sure all their needs were met (e.g., they had been fed, changed, burped, cuddled, sung to, medicine for teething, etc) before letting them just cry, and I think we only let them cry for about 20 minutes. With each of our kids we only had to do it a few times, and every so often during that 20 minutes or so I would go in and rub their back, try to soothe and encourage them WITHOUT picking them up. We only had to do it a couple of times. The challenge was discerning whether or not they really needed something or if they were just exerting his will.
To encourage you, I think it will help Adeline to be in the same room as Elias – she’ll have an example of what it looks like to go to sleep without fighting it. My 2 year-old shares a room with his older twin brothers – who go to sleep like a breeze now that they’re older – and he has picked up on that example and has almost never fought us on sleep. He fights us on other things, though. 😉 Can you say “strong-willed child’?
Just to add…(sorry to be long-winded!) The Lord will show you what works best for your daughter and your family! He knows what Adeline needs, and He’ll show you! You can’t go wrong with the Lord, huh? 🙂
Hi Jessica,
I went to college here in Buffalo with Angie 🙂 Big hugs to her when you see her again. Like Angie, I too had twins (both boys though!). They are 5 months old now and I have just started using the cry-it-out method for one of them (the other one sleeps all night and never wakes up!). However, I don’t let him cry TOO long due to the fact that he’s still so young. What does work for me though is going in the room and placing my hand on his chest. He quites down immediately and starts to go back to sleep. Within minutes he’s sleeping again. It’s been working great so far! God Bless. -Amy
LOL, this is always a hot topic. You might as well have posted about homeschooling vs public/private schools, working vs stay-at-home moms, breastfeeding vs formula, and natural vs medicated birth. 🙂 Do what feels right, change it up as needed, and just go with it.
Just coming thru again to see my little girl again !!! xoxoxo
I wonder what it is about getting our children to sleep that makes us SO very excited about sharing our perspective? Seems like everyone has something to say about it-even me:)
Won’t tell you any stories but I’ll give you my generic advice. First, God made you their mother for a reason-trust your judgement, whatever it is. Second, read a few books with different approaches-I found that after hearing multiple perspectives helped me to choose which one was right for me and my child.
I used the Ferber method for my oldest (headstrong) child. For my littlest (clingy cuddler) I read the No Cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley and The Sleep Lady’s Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West.
Good luck-it will probably take longer to get through all this advice than it will to actually sleep train your child 🙂
I’m glad I missed this post at first so I could see all the different comments a few days later. My daughter, Elsa, is about three weeks younger than yours so we are often dealing with the same stages. I told myself that after the craziness of the holidays I would try harder to get Elsa to sleep better at night. Before then she’s slept with me every single night of her life. She had stretches of really good sleeping but lately had fallen into a pattern of eating every hour. SHE might have been resting (using me as a pacifier) but I wasn’t getting any sleep. I feel your pain!!!
A week ago tomorrow I put on her amber teething necklace and just like that she started going 10HOURS w/o needing me. I just didn’t feel right about letting her cry when I haven’t been fair to her as far as creating a consistent routine. I have two other children who need to be picked up and dropped off from school 2-3 times a day and either I wake Elsa or I hold off on naps depending on our schedule that day. It’s just not fair to her. She has needs that I’m not able to meet because we have to be on the go for schooling so I figure that I am going to sacrifice and be there to meet her needs at night.
All of this to say….maybe she’s in pain from teething – I just can’t dismiss the fact that my daughter made a complete 180 in her sleeping within 24hours of wearing the necklace. (check out hazelaid.com for more info on how amber works for pain relief) Good luck!!
Oh and I LOVE the white crib 🙂 My oldest daughter had a white crib and I loved it!
We tried the “cry it out” thing and about lost our minds. I will never forget the worst (and last) night of it. I was sitting on the floor in her room, trying to let just my presence soothe, her and I started praying that Heavenly Father would comfort her so that she could just fall asleep easily and without so much stress. As I was praying a voice, clear as day, was in my head saying “Carmen, that’s YOUR job.” It was the end of the crying it out. We just found other ways to get her to sleep. Now that our four children are older (12-19), I realize that the time goes by so quickly and, in hindsight, there would be so many more things to worry about that I would just go back and hold her until she fell asleep every single time and just enjoy having her so small and fitting into my arms so perfectly. Of course, while you’re in the trenches, it feels like it might never end, but it will very quickly and you will miss it. (I remember rolling my eyes when people would tell me that, but now that I’m on the other end, I can see how true it is).
My son is 12 months old now, around 8 months or so, I would rock him after his bottle, put him in his crib, lay him on his tummy, pat his back for a min (I usually count to 50 – so scientific haha), and then I leave the room. He will sometimes sit up and cry for a few seconds or a minute or two, but it has gotten to where I don’t have to spend 30min + putting him to sleep. At first it was harder, but the last month or so has been so nice. He is used to it. I’m used to it. And it takes me like 10 min to get him to bed.
Now, if he is sick I adjust. But I do this if he wakes in the night as well, which is about once a week around 4 am. I will feed him, lay him on his tummy, pat his back for a min, then i’m out of the room. if he cries at all, it isn’t for long and he soothes himself back to sleep.
I really think that this technique helps my sanity!!! and it helsp him, i can sometimes hear him stir in the night, and many times he puts himself back to sleep.
my dad is a pediatrician and he’s always recommended cry-it-out intervals. keep in mind, I don’t have children and even if i did i wouldn’t be in a position to tell you what works best. That said, I do nanny and have worked with many philosophies on sleeping and my dad’s is my favorite to implement because it works– the night isn’t spent rocking and tip-toeing to transfer baby, nor is it spent with baby crying and me feeling like a failure. He recommends coming up with a bedtime routine that works specifically for you, like reading a book, singing a song (my nephew preferred just being put straight in the crib, skipping the formalities, if you will ;)) and then putting the baby down, patting the back for a minute, leaving the room and letting the baby cry for 2 minutes before going back in, NOT picking up the child, but reassuring her you hear her and you care, patting for a few seconds, then leaving, waiting 4 minutes to go in and do the same reassurance but without picking up the baby. and doing the same thing repeatedly at 6, 8, 10, 15, 20 minutes. With my nephew this worked at 8 weeks and he sleeps (unless sick) 8 pm to 7 am, no interruption. Dad believes putting self to sleep is a developmental task and if the baby learns it at bedtime, she will use that skill when waking up in the middle of the night to self-soothe. I love it because I feel like I’m doing my part, not “abandoning” the baby while also letting the baby learn a skill that prevents the need to cry at all. I wish you all the best in whatever you choose!
I just ran across this and am late to the party. Hopefully she is sleeping now. I had my baby prematurely so it wasn’t until 3 months that my doctor would allow me to not wake her to eat every 3 hours…to let her sleep until she woke. A month later she was finally hitting good sleep stretches and dropping feedings to where I thought we’d finally get a full night’s sleep. And then without explanation when I started to put her down around 7, she would scream and scream and scream…and by 7 the next morning she had slept only a few hours and we had slept less than that. We tried countless methods and I read every book I could get my hands on. When I tried the cry it out method I finally realized she didn’t have an “out”. She literally cried from 7 to 10 or 11…of course I intervened some, but really tried to give the cry it out method a chance like I had tried everything else. By 10 or 11, we gave in and held her in her rocker most of the rest of the night. Anytime we’d try to put her in the crib after holding her for an hour or two, she’d immediately wake and start crying all over again. She did the same thing at nap times too. This went on until she was 7 1/2 months. None of us slept at all. It was awful. I guess the only thing I can say from that is there are things that work for many but not necessarily all. What people were recommending to me actually did more damage than good. For her, the cry it out method got her worked up more and more. Part of it is her temperament too. She’s an extremely touchy/sensitive baby so for whatever reason it did not work for her. It seems to work for other babies with different temperaments. I figured out that I will try anything, but if it doesn’t feel right or clearly isn’t working…I need to abandon what is popular belief and try the next thing. In the end, we did two things that could have been “it” for her… For her, we found her spine was a tad out of line and we started getting her adjusted. The other thing we did was give her a small soft doll. When we did those things she immediately started sleeping 12 hours a night. I don’t know which of the two it was, but you better believe I’ll never take that doll away from her! Go with your gut. You know your child better than anyone else and you’ll know if something is right or not working for her.